I mainly blog about our everyday life and Dannika, but this one's a little different.
So bear with me.
There are no cutesy pictures I took of the baby or of our family.
I had a really trying time this weekend.
It was emotionally exhausting for both Nick and I.
While I won't go into details to respect my family's privacy, I do have some important lessons I learned.
Friends are few and far between for me.
Until this last deployment that Nick went on, I really didn't have any good friends...especially girlfriends.
Being a Marine makes it really hard to find good girlfriends.
The girlfriends I thought I had did some pretty kiniving things to me.
It made the deployment really hard being a new mom, working a full time job, and no friends to come home and cry to.
I met these amazing group of women through Nick's unit toward the end of the deployment(other spouses) whom I've become pretty close to.
I've also become really close to a spouse of a Marine who worked temporarily in my recruiting office when he came back in the Marine Corps after getting out...
I think the next deployment will be easier thanks to them =)
I've always believed that whatever happens between Nick and I in marriage, is something that should never be discussed with anyone but "US".
I learned this weekend that the statement above couldn't be more farther than the truth.
I'm so lucky that I have people in my life that I feel comfortable being able to tell anything to without passing judgment.
I don't think I could have made it through this weekend without those friendships.
The whole reason why this weekend was so emotionally draining for Nick and I was due to a friendship.
I won't name any names, but it just came down to figuring out who your true friends were.
It was about me trying to decide for Nick who he should and shouldn't be friends with.
Was I right? no.
But was my reasoning justified? In regards to "the friend" in question...in my opinion yes (but I won't go into all the details about why...that's petty
I ended up ruining what was supposed to be a fun night out for Nick and the guys because of a friendship I disagreed with (and no, that friend was not at the bachelor party).
In the end, I am going to be a "grown-up" and ignore the friendship that Nick wants to continue to "just acknowledge".
Kind of puts into perspective how much friends and friendships can affect our daily lives and relationships with eachother.
I think it's safe to say that I am not wrong when I say that every marriage has it's "skeletons" in the closet.
What I mean by skeletons is that there are things that happen and go on within your marriage that only the two of you as husband and wife know.
This weekends drama with "the friendship" brought up things in the past.
Nick and I hardly ever argue.
But when we do, boy do we.
I'm not afraid to admit that because anyone who says they never argue with their spouse is either lying or heading toward the "D" word.
I have a tendency to hold things in until one moment...then all of a sudden, everything gets laid out on the table at once.
It's a work in progress...our marriage that is.
Someone once told me that a marriage will be a work in progress until the day you die.
I truly believe that.
So until that day, we just gotta take it one day at a time.
I'm not perfect and I have my faults (by default...haha), and there are days that Nick probably wants to strangle me (not in a literal sense...he would never lay a hand on a woman).
Nick's not an angel either (insert gasp here), and he's made his share of mistakes in marriage.
There are days that I struggle with myself and ongoing issues that aren't resolved yet between him and I.
But every day is a new day that we're blessed with.
Every day is a step closer to resolving our problems.
Emotionally exhausted? yes
Still in Love? most definitely
Life was easier single, but man...Life wasn't this exciting or fulfilling either!
Nick and I have been thinking all week about what to get my dad for Father's Day.
What do you buy a guy who seems to have everything he needs and wants?
After contemplating for a while, I decided to write him a message on my blog.
So...this is kind of long, and you don't have to read it if you don't want to...
It's really meant for the man I call my "Apa".
It's impossible to think of gifts to buy you. I know you don't care what we get you, but I still have such a hard time finding that "perfect" gift for you. So this year, I decided to do something different. If I could describe you in one word, it would be "hardworking". There is no other word that sticks out in my mind like that word. It took me 27 years to figure it out, but I just realized the other day how hard your life has been so that your daughters (Lydia and I) could have everything we could ever want and more. There were so many other "easier" routes you could have taken in your life, but Lydia and I would have never lived the privileged life that we did. I thank God every single day that I had a father like you. In my eyes, you are a true success story of the "American Dream". You struggled, you worked hard, you triumphed, you fell, you picked yourself back up...you did all of this without ever skipping a beat or letting it show on your face. You have always been the strong face of our family, even when times were tough. You woke up every day, went to work, rain or shine, problems or no problems. Your main priority in life was to make sure that we (Lydia and I) had the absolute best in everything. I hated piano, but you paid for the best piano teachers money had to offer...I hated violin, and you bought me the best violin money could buy (even though my technical skills didn't even match up to the quality of instrument you bought me)...and I hated Kumon, but at 27 years old, I still go back to what I learned in those Kumon classes when it comes to a simple math problem. I am SO grateful that I have those talents...because YOU pushed me to my potential. I plan on raising my own child like that....with firmness, discipline, and I will demand of her nothing but excellence. I refuse to raise a mediocre child, and I thank you for giving me that outlook on parenthood. Despite your insane working hours, and the tireless efforts you put into our family business to make it successful, you never missed a dance recital, a piano recital, violin recital, or an orchestra concert. You were there smiling and proud...even when I felt I didn't do my best. You're not an affectionate person, but I know now that you showed your love through your actions and hard work to provide for me.
With all of that said, the thing that I MOST admire about you, is your selflessness and devotion to God and family. If you were down to your last penny in your bank account, but a stranger would starve, you'd give your last penny to that stranger to buy a meal. You think about yourself last...always. I've never in my entire life met anyone that selfless. I wish more people were like you.
I know our relationship has had its ups and DOWNS, but in the end, you've stuck around. You've always supported me, even when you didn't agree with my decisions, and you have let me grow on my own. You let me fall and learn from my own mistakes. You have never left me, when I'm sure there were times you didn't want to ever speak to me again. That's how I know you love me.
Thank you for being the father that you are and a father that I admire. I learned in church today that the biggest compliment you can give your father is to tell them you want to be like them. I want to be like you. I want to love God like you do, and I want to work hard like you did to make sure my family is successful. Thank you for being a father to Nick and stepping in as his "dad". Thank you for treating him like your son, and never thinking twice about it. You're the father he never had, and you're the father I hope he will be to Dannika.
A simple text message my husband got today from his old "4th hat" from the drill field meant the world to him, and made him realize it was Marines like him that got him to where he was today....
"It was real good seeing you today Chief. It really made me remember why
I became a Drill Instructor & how you trained me to realize it's
more to it than just yelling. you taught me to have passion and heart in
everything I do from IT to cadence and that's why I'm where I'm at
today. I owe it all to you & (you) damn well deserve GySgt and 1Sgt.
You never know we could be back here as 1Sgts destroying bodies like
old times. in my eyes, you will always be "The Chief Drill Instructor"
thanks GySgt...." (Nick is not even a GySgt yet)
GySgt Collins was a SSgt when Nick was on the drill field.
When Nick saw him today, he stood at parade rest for Nick (who is now a rank lower than him), and called him Chief.
That's the kind of Marine Nick is.
He demands respect wherever he goes and gets it.
He's hard yet fair to his Marines.
He doesn't play favorites.
He is ALWAYS professional...
and most importantly...
He genuinely loves his job and every single one of his Marines and the Marines that take care of him.