Monday, June 27, 2011

Marriage and Friendships

I mainly blog about our everyday life and Dannika, but this one's a little different.
So bear with me.
There are no cutesy pictures I took of the baby or of our family.

I had a really trying time this weekend.
It was emotionally exhausting for both Nick and I.
While I won't go into details to respect my family's privacy, I do have some important lessons I learned.

Friends are few and far between for me.
Until this last deployment that Nick went on, I really didn't have any good friends...especially girlfriends.
Being a Marine makes it really hard to find good girlfriends.
The girlfriends I thought I had did some pretty kiniving things to me.
It made the deployment really hard being a new mom, working a full time job, and no friends to come home and cry to.
I met these amazing group of women through Nick's unit toward the end of the deployment(other spouses) whom I've become pretty close to.
I've also become really close to a spouse of a Marine who worked temporarily in my recruiting office when he came back in the Marine Corps after getting out...
I think the next deployment will be easier thanks to them =)

I've always believed that whatever happens between Nick and I in marriage, is something that should never be discussed with anyone but "US".
I learned this weekend that the statement above couldn't be more farther than the truth.

I'm so lucky that I have people in my life that I feel comfortable being able to tell anything to without passing judgment.
I don't think I could have made it through this weekend without those friendships.

The whole reason why this weekend was so emotionally draining for Nick and I was due to a friendship.
I won't name any names, but it just came down to figuring out who your true friends were.
It was about me trying to decide for Nick who he should and shouldn't be friends with.
Was I right? no.
But was my reasoning justified? In regards to "the friend" in my opinion yes (but I won't go into all the details about why...that's petty

I ended up ruining what was supposed to be a fun night out for Nick and the guys because of a friendship I disagreed with (and no, that friend was not at the bachelor party).
In the end, I am going to be a "grown-up" and ignore the friendship that Nick wants to continue to "just acknowledge".

Kind of puts into perspective how much friends and friendships can affect our daily lives and relationships with eachother.
Now Marriage...
I think it's safe to say that I am not wrong when I say that every marriage has it's "skeletons" in the closet.
What I mean by skeletons is that there are things that happen and go on within your marriage that only the two of you as husband and wife know.
This weekends drama with "the friendship" brought up things in the past.

Nick and I hardly ever argue.
But when we do, boy do we.
I'm not afraid to admit that because anyone who says they never argue with their spouse is either lying or heading toward the "D" word.
I have a tendency to hold things in until one moment...then all of a sudden, everything gets laid out on the table at once.

It's a work in progress...our marriage that is.
Someone once told me that a marriage will be a work in progress until the day you die.
I truly believe that.
So until that day, we just gotta take it one day at a time.
I'm not perfect and I have my faults (by default...haha), and there are days that Nick probably wants to strangle me (not in a literal sense...he would never lay a hand on a woman).
Nick's not an angel either (insert gasp here), and he's made his share of mistakes in marriage.
There are days that I struggle with myself and ongoing issues that aren't resolved yet between him and I.
But every day is a new day that we're blessed with.
Every day is a step closer to resolving our problems.

Emotionally exhausted? yes
Still in Love? most definitely

Life was easier single, but man...Life wasn't this exciting or fulfilling either!

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there girl - you are one, tough Marine!!


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