Sunday, April 22, 2012

Think Positive

If you get offended easily...this may not be one for you to read.
I currently have a myriad of acquaintances and close friends who have husbands or loved ones that are deployed.

As I have gotten to know a few of them through facebook in the last few months, I've come to several realizations.

There are 3 kinds of Military Wives that are going through deployment.

1) Deployment Cherry Wife
This wife is popping her deployment cherry.
She's going through her very first deployment. 
She's extremely emotional through the entire deployment.
She posts sad songs about separation and/or sad country songs about the military on her facebook page daily.
Every other post is about how much she misses her husband and how her life is just not complete without him...blah blah blah BLLLLLAAAH!
She has become even more patriotic than she's ever been.
She's the one who has the stupid "His boots, her flip flops, the perfect pair" stickers all over her "oorah'ed" out car.
She has a countdown pie chart, graph, stickers, paper lanyards....anything to make the deployment seem longer than it really is.
She makes sure the entire world knows when she gets a phonecall, email, skype date, letter, morse code, or smoke signals from her deployed husband.
2) Seasoned Veteran Wife
This wife has popped her deployment cherry.
The week prior to her husband leaving, she is helping him pack his bags and telling him to hurry the hell outta there.
She even knows what customs forms he needs filled out before he gets on the bus.
She's got a mission these next 7 months and she can't start any of it until HE leaves.
Her next 7 months consist of getting in shape, planning trips, wine nights, girlfriend time, watching Desperate Housewives, chick flicks, etc.
She gets annoyed with the "Deployment Cherry Wife" and is constantly saying in her head to "Suck it the 'f' up"
Her group of friends mainly consist of other "Seasoned Veteran" wives.
She has her moments of sadness, but she gets over it quickly with a glass of merlot and a viewing of the Notebook (a movie that her husband refuses to watch). 

3) The Active Duty Wife
The active duty wife is a combo of "Seasoned Veteran Wife" and "Deployment Cherry Wife".
Just cause she's a Marine doesn't mean she doesn't go through the same emotions as the above mentioned wives.
She just tends to get over it a little quicker.
She has a quick tongue that sometimes piss off Wives 1 and 2.
She just doesn't understand the boo hoos.
She forgets that not all Marine wives are indeed Marines and tends to hold them to the same expectations of her own Marines....which usually ends in severe disappointment.
She doesn't wear her husband's dog tags...she has her own.
 Her friends tend to be a tight knit group of Seasoned Veteran Wives and other Marines.
The Seasoned Veteran Wives that are her friends tend to have thicker skin than the average Marine wife...which is why they can put up with the "Active Duty Wife".

Now obviously,
This is supposed to be satirical in nature, and by no means ACCURATELY represents ALL wives.
I just made some generalizations and decided to write about it.

All I really wanted to get across was...

We are all wives going through the same thing.
We are just going through different things in our lives when our husbands deploy. 
Posting negative things and sad things on facebook all day will not make you feel any better.
In fact, it will make you feel worse...especially with all the fake sympathy you'll be getting from all your friends back home.
They don't genuinely care what you are going through.
They're just trying to be nice.
Let's face it...
Only a military wife truly understands what YOU are going through and they are dealing with their own separation to understand/deal with yours.
Keep your head high.
Stay positive.
Quit dwelling on how much you miss him....of course you miss him.
The world does not need to know every second of every day.
Stay busy.
Pray every day for safe returns.
Deployments do not last forever.

And you will hopefully get to experience this...



  1. God bless you for being active duty, a mom and a deployment widow! Just found your blog and love these descriptions because they are all together true. I am an Army wife, we have been through two 2 Iraq tours and I am definitely #2. I always just wanted to start counting down. Look forward to reading more about your adventures!

  2. well..or whole family thanks all the service men and women and their families for their service......and we all pray every night for them!!
    I am your newest follower..pls follow back if you can.
    beautiful pictures.

  3. hahaha I had to comment on this even though it's not "new" just because it is so funny! Although I swear I was not a cherry wife hahah I definitely see a lot of that though. I think just because Jake and I were used to separation that while, yeah, it was hard and a deployment is different from other long distance situations, I definitely wasn't a wreck. Seasoned is pretty much how I dealt with it. :P Also, I think non dependents/military members probably won't get this post (if that's who was upset, I don't know). I wouldn't have understood it 6 years ago. One of the great parts of being a military wife is having so many other people around (physically or not) that understand what it's like.

  4. :) this made me laugh... on the "Cherry Wife" part I am sitting there going "that's me", "that's me", "oh God I need to suck it up" haha...
    I'm not a wife, I'm a girlfriend going through the first deployment..
    Thanks for the blog it's awesome.. :)
    Any advice?



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