Sunday, May 19, 2013

Marriage in a Christian Home

My church had a sermon today about marriage that was geared towards the men (next week for the women), and I LOVED it.
I was initially a little disappointed that Nick couldn't be here with me to go through these sermons together, but.....
I know God has been working awesome things in my marriage with the hubby, because he went to church today in Quantico, and the sermon he heard was almost the same topic as the one I listened to all the way here in Massachusetts!
I wanted to share a few key points, and add my commentary from what I learned today because I thought they were so good!

If you like bible references...check out Ephesians 5:21, 25-28, Galatians 2:20, Genesis 2:18, Genesis 3:16)

When people say, "I have a happy marriage.", it means that their needs are being met.
Men need to drop the words "fine" and "good" from their vocabulary.
(For example:
Me: (to my hubby after a long day) How was your day, babe?
Hubby: It was good.)

As women, we want to know all the who, what, where, when, and whys of our man's day. 
We want to know how he FELT during the day.
This is a problem because the average man doesn't like talking about how he feels....fail.

3 Needs of a Woman
1. Communication (how many times have we heard this one? duh, right?)
*Women connect through communication
*When you connect with a woman, you are learning to connect with God.
*The mirror of God on earth is a marriage.

(Women have affairs because men won't listen to them, so they look elsewhere. Men have affairs because women don't honor them and aren't being intimate with them.)

2. Leadership
Leadership is initiation, NOT domination.
Lead your wife as Christ led the church.

Ways men can lead in a marriage:
*In spiritual matters
(Initiate prayer, bible time, small group, etc. etc. in the home)
*With the children.
(Women want men to be involved. The clear leader should be the man in discipline)
*ROMANCE
"Romance is when you anticipate a need before it's asked for."
(ie: I love when my husband offers to do dishes before I even think to ask him...even if I wasn't intending to ask him at all!)

3. Security
If a man talks in insecure terms, his wife cannot hear him.

Ways men can provide security
*Financial stability
(The husband's primary role. The wife should not have to worry about finances.)
I initially had a hard time with this one, because as traditional as I am when it comes to gender roles in a marriage, I used to be financially independent and stable before I got married (and for a while after I married my husband). 
I was proud of the fact that I did not need my husband's income, and I was my own woman!
However, I quickly realized that as a mother, because of my husband's ability to provide for our family on his income, I was able to CHOOSE to be a SAHM.
At one point, I made more money than my husband!
I understand that not everyone is in the same boat when it comes to finances and income, and by no means does it mean that women do not rate equality as far as money making abilities in a home/marriage, but from a Christian standpoint, whether a woman is making more than her husband or not making any money at all, it is not her job to worry about financial stability.
If a woman needs to work to help pay the bills in the house, there's nothing wrong with that!
(This is a whole another post)
*Emotional Stability
Take the weight off her shoulders.
Help her see that you know what she is going through.
*Physical Stability
The husband is the protector
Don't get me wrong, I'm a former Marine.
I can protect myself if need be, and I am mean with a pistol or a rifle, but at the end of the day, I appreciate feeling safe when my husband is home.

So there you have it!
Maybe you got something out of this, maybe you didn't!
I know I did!
As you can tell, I'm pretty old-fashioned when it comes to marriage...like June Cleaver...lol.
I understand that in today's world, women are more independent, women are out earning their spouses sometimes, and women have the attitude of "I don't need a man."
 In MY OPINION, I think those are some of the reasons that the divorce rate is at such an all time high.
There comes a point when a woman needs to step back and realize that we are not all created equal, and as much as we believe that we can be exact equals as men, I don't think it's possible. 
Men and women have different needs and different agendas.
That's just how we're programmed.

Opinion over.

Hope everyone has a fabulous sunday.

I rarely post videos, but here's one I took of my little princess on her scooter.
I'm very proud of her, because she's getting so good at balancing on her two wheeled scooter.
I violently protested to my husband about getting her a two wheeled scooter, and wanted her to get the 3 wheeled one instead.
But thanks to my husband's "leadership" decision, I'm so glad we didn't "handicap" her with the extra wheel!
video
 

4 comments:

  1. I'm showing this to my husband. I love it! I can't wait to hear what you learn next week!

    Oh, and Dannika's helmet is adorable! And she's doing so good on the scooter!

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    1. Glad you enjoyed it! I emailed it to my husband as soon as I got home from church. I'm excited about next week's sermon!

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  2. I am very old fashioned in our roles as well, but it works for us! I definitely think men's and women's needs are different and this is a good reminder of that, especially keeping God at the center.

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    1. I totally agree! I think a lot of people have forgotten that men and women are different!

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I appreciate every, single comment! Thanks for the love!