Monday, September 2, 2013

Life With a Second Child

My whole pregnancy, I was SO worried about having two children around the house.
There are days when just my one 4 year old is a lot to handle, and the thought of her AND a newborn stressed me out a little...ok...a LOT.
I kept telling myself that God would never give me more than I could handle over and over again to calm my fears and anxieties.

Thank God that the above statement is true.

Honestly, baby #2 has been a breeze.
When D was born, I was a hormonal, stressed out, and depressed mama. 
I got the baby blues really bad right after I got home from the hospital with her, and it eventually turned into full blown postpartum depression (in which I was medicated for).
I hated breastfeeding.
I hated being alone with the baby.
*I had anxiety and panic attacks whenever I was left alone at home with her*
I had crazy feelings of guilt when I had to go back to work and drop off my 6 week old in daycare.
I had crazy feelings of guilt for being happy to drop her off, so that I didn't have to be around her.
I cried constantly.
I was a wreck.
 
Because my experience with D was so traumatic (everything from labor and delivery to bringing her home), my doctor wanted to be on the safe side, and he prescribed me an antidepressant to start taking as soon as I brought baby M home.

By the way, I never picked up the prescription.

Today Baby M is a week old.
I feel like this week has FLOWN by, and I desperately want to slow the time down.
This is a feeling I never had with D.
With D, the weeks seemed to drag on, and I wanted to speed up time to a point where she wasn't so "needy".
I don't know what's different with this baby, but I feel a lot more at peace.
I really enjoy the time I have nursing him.
D is such a HUGE help with everything, and such an amazing big sister.

My hubby has been a super hero dad
 Between going to college and helping me take care of baby while my body recovers from childbirth, I'm not even sure if he's really gotten a chance to fully "enjoy" his paternity leave.

I feel like with D, God was showing me that I am capable of making it through a "rough storm".
Looking back on it now, I can't believe that I made it through such a difficult time.
I look at D, and I can't believe how much she's grown.
It amazes me what a bright, cheerful, beautiful, smart, loving, and awesome little girl she has turned out to be. 
Her and I have been through more together in her 4 years of life that Baby M and I will ever go through.
We made it through deployments, separations, mama being active duty, and much more together.
Baby M gets a little break from the crazy Marine Corps life that I put D through:-)

At the end of the day, I am so thankful for the rough times.
It makes me appreciate so much more the time I am having with both of my babies right now. 

My hubby and I have prayerfully made the decision that we are done with two kids.
However, I am enjoying this stage of infancy so much with Baby M, I get sad knowing that he's my last "baby".
It almost makes me think that I could handle a third.

That is until I realize how much college is going to cost for 3 children.
Then I snap out of it :-)
 P.S. How 'bout them Aggies?!

7 comments:

  1. You have a beautiful family :)

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  2. Aww these pictures are so cute!! I appreciate your honesty on your experience after having your daughter. I struggled with so much anxiety after my first. But now after 3 I do not even think I could recognize a panic attack. haha! I am glad you are having a great transition to having 2 cute babes at home.

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  3. I love that you are enjoying your time with Mattis so much and I thank God that He has given you the opportunity to have a positive experience this time around!

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  4. Aww I'm so glad that your experience this time around is so much more pleasant. And I definitely agree that the experiences with firsts definitely sets the stage for our second! Our oldest was an easy baby, but is turning into a bit of a difficult preschooler. But our youngest? He was a more "needy" baby ... and now is a much easier to handle 1.5 year old. And what got me through his babyhood was knowing that nothing lasts forever! One day at a time, mama!

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  5. I'm so glad things are going much better!

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  6. Glad things are going ok. I remember that feeling of nervousness about my second son coming and not being able to handle everything - but I made it work and you'll find your groove :)

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I appreciate every, single comment! Thanks for the love!