Monday, February 10, 2014

Overprotective Parenting

I read an article this morning on "overprotective parenting", and how debilitating it can be to our kids.
You can click the link the check it out for yourself.
I loved the article.
I think I'm on the complete opposite end of the spectrum from over protectiveness.
I've seen firsthand what kids become when they have "helicopter parents".
On my time on recruiting duty in Orange County, I met more kids that were the products of "helicopter parents" than I knew existed.
These kids all had issues.
I won't go into the issues cause that's a whole another blog post, but it opened my eyes to a whole new generation of kids that are screwed up because of their over protective parents.
In fact, overprotective parents bother me.
And while I try not to judge people's parenting styles (cause I hate when people judge my parenting style), I tend to shy away from play dates with parents with opposite ideals on raising kids than me.
I hate feeling judged by another parent because we don't raise our kids the exact same way.
YOU KNOW they're judging.

There's one mom that I used to hang out with so our kids could play together that I had to completely stop hanging out with because the judgmental factor got to be too much for me.
"You let your kid cut with real scissors?!?!"
"I can't believe you let your daughter play out back unsupervised!"
"You should NEVER let your daughter play in the bath by herself if you're not in the bathroom watching her entire 30 minute bath. What if she drowns?!"
"I can't believe you don't have outlet covers on your light sockets! What if she sticks a metal chopstick in there!"
It just went on and on and on and on.
It was exhausting.

It was just too much for me, and eventually I had to cut ties with this parent. 

My daughter helped me cook dinner last night, and she burned her arm pretty good on the hot pan on the stove.
I didn't freak out when she burned it, and I gave her a high five.
"YAY! You got your first official 'chef injury'!"
She wears her little burn on her arm as a badge of pride, and because I didn't freak out and start "babying" her about her little burn, she didn't freak out.
It makes her independent, and a little more cautious of the world on her own without my constant supervision.
I also love that she thrives in EVERY environment.
It almost makes me sad how excited she is to go to a new school or a new Sunday school to meet new friends.
The girl has never even looked back at me as she happily trots her way into a strange new place with new faces all by herself. 
I've never had any issues leaving her with friends or family for a day or a week so that Nick and I can have alone time.
She's confident and secure enough to know that mommy and daddy will always come back, whether it be in a few hours or a couple days.
It makes MY life so much more stress free and care free to know that my child does not have fears that I would abandon her.

We all want to protect our kids and shield them from what is bad in the world.
But I feel like spending all of our energy "hovering" over their every move, and making sure they're always wearing their "PPE" just causes more stress and chaos in our lives.

Yes, I let my daughter play outside on our deck by herself, unsupervised.
She also knows she is not allowed to leave the back deck, and she knows that if she sees a stranger hanging around our house to come inside and tell me. 
And let me just add, she's not totally unsupervised.
 I'm inside the house looking out the window every once in a while to make sure she's OK.
With a 5 month old, I can't possibly be outside with her all the time, and as her mom, I trust my kid enough to make wise decisions.
Yes, at 4 years old, I feel that she is capable of making smart choices (some decisions are even smarter than most adults I know).

Sometimes, you just gotta let your kids fly!


  1. I don't care what anyone thinks and I think that works in my favor. Let them judge - you have to do what is best for you.

    1. It gets exhausting when someone is judging your every move with your kids! I feel it a lot easier to be around people who either share the same style as you or can respect each and every parents method of parenting!

  2. I so agree with you!

    I had a friend like that too. We eventually had to cut ties because I was tired of her constant comments. And if she wasn't commenting to me, she was posting pretty rude Facebook posts that were geared to parents like us. Annoying.

  3. Right there with you! Even my husband sometimes gets on my nerves questioning the things I let the kids do without batting an eye. Like the other day when they found kids' marshmallow roasting sticks in the kitchen drawer. They aren't sharp, but do have a blunt point on the end. Which has a rubber cover over it. They were pretending they were walking sticks or different things and playing. I let 'em. They know not to beat each other with them, or jam them in their eyes. He freaked out, ripped them out of their hands and told me to put them where they couldn't find them! And he also wants me to sit in the bathroom the whole time they are playing in the bath. Together. I don't ... I go back every couple of minutes, and can hear them through the entire house if there ever was an issue. Most times, its just them fighting, and nothing bad.

  4. I know what you mean! Everyone parents differently..thats what makes the world go round. i think everyone has their own way of being "protective", no judgment needed from other moms. I always say you do you...and let me do me! Haha :)

  5. I love your way of parenting. :)


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