Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Just Morning Coffee

It's 5am, and I'm up.
I'm normally never up this early anymore.
I stopped getting up this early when I got out of the Marine Corps.
My weekday mornings normally consist of Nick getting up at 4-430 to go to PT, and I usually sleep in until the first kid wakes up (between 630-7).
But this week, I decided to start waking up with Nick to have a cup of coffee with him in the mornings before he went to work.
I used to do this when I first moved out here and the "newness" of being a stay at home mom was exciting for me.
But then life happened, and I realized being a stay at home mom isn't rainbows and unicorns every day, and I stopped getting up with him in the mornings to have coffee.
It's only Tuesday, but man what a difference those 15 minutes of coffee and conversation in the morning has made in our relationship.
It's not like we have these deep conversations over our morning cup of coffee.
We talk about our day, our plans, about the kids...
This morning, I reminisced about my time in the Marine Corps...
I talked about reintegration in my last post.
If it's a term you're not familiar with, it's basically the time it takes for your family to reestablish a routine when your spouse has been gone for a long period of time (and comes back home).
Our family is constantly being ripped apart and put back together over and over and over again...multiple times a year.
It's become so normal for me that when we are put back together, I don't quite know what to do...well I thought I knew...but I don't.
I did figure out this morning though while we were having our "cup of joe" together that I've been forgetting to take time out of my day to connect with my spouse. 

When he's gone, I establish a routine that works for my life without him.
When he returns, my world gets wrecked for a few weeks trying to reestablish a NEW routine that includes him.
Once I reestablish my new "normal", he already has news for me that he's going to be gone again, and I start mentally preparing for another routine that does not include him.
Just typing all of that was exhausting.
You can imagine (if you're not familiar with this lifestyle) how emotionally and mentally exhausting this can be.

So through all this establishing and reestablishing a daily routine with or without my husband, when he comes home, I'm too busy reintegrating him back into our daily life (kids, dinner, etc.) that I totally forgot the part of reconnecting with him as well.
We live in a time of Facetime, Skype, text messaging, and social media.
When hubby is gone, it's easy to communicate with him.
But all that technology is what I consider "false communication".
You can't really connect with someone on a deep level over Facebook or Facetime.
I chose the military lifestyle when I was 17 years old, and it was my life for 10 years.
I didn't know that I would fall in love with someone in this lifestyle as well.
I never knew in a million years when I was 17 that I'd ever give up this life to be a stay at home mom and Marine wife.
It's crazy.
But for now, I'm starting with "just morning coffee" every morning with the man I love.
I am also driving to my husband's work once a week (every Monday) to have a lunch date with him and the kids.
Yesterday was our first, and it was awesome.
He took us to this swanky little restaurant called the Eastern Standard.
My son just happened to love their bread...

I had the Eastern Standard chopped salad.
It was divine, and worth every penny.


  1. Reintegration can be tricky. I function so well by myself that by the time he comes back home, I hardly know what to do with him!

    1. That's kind of how I feel! I LOVE having him home, and hate when he's away, but once I get in my groove...I do alright by myself. It's something I hope to look back on when we're old and wrinkly and be able to say, "wow...we made it through all that."

  2. I always get up with my husband so I can see him for a few minutes before he's gone for the next 10 hours.

  3. Mmm that salad looks amazing!!! =D I used to get up with my hubs before he switched to nightshift. Now I wait to go to bed until he's gone. (most of the time) lol :)

  4. I can't even imagine how difficult it would be. My husband works a crazy shift (one week of dayshift and one week of night shift.) The rotation causes me trying to schedule things so difficult and setting a routine almost impossible. It's just a minor thing to work around compared with what your faced with. I admire military wives, you all are very strong individuals!

  5. This is awesome! I used to get up with Chris in the beginning of this whole stay at home mom thing too. I thought it gave me more of a purpose! haha. Now three kids in and that is just not happening. LOL. Chris does his own PT now so I guess I don't feel as bad because he doesn't get up as early. But the lunch thing is a good idea!!! I totally love your honesty about it all because it is tough.


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