Thursday, April 3, 2014

Recruiting Duty

Recruiting duty is one of the unique assignments in the military.
It's completely an independent duty that comes with late nights (nights as late as 10pm), early mornings (that start at 3am), quotas, stress, heartburn, headaches, career threatening investigations, ass chewings for no reason, etc. etc. etc.
I've had ALL of the above.
I've worked with Marines on recruiting duty who are Purple Heart recipients from combat that have said to me that recruiting is tougher than combat (at times).
I've had Marines tell me they'd rather be deployed for 3 years straight (the average time on this assignment) than be a recruiter. 
I had my fair share of struggles, heartache, stress, and chaos on recruiting, but that's a whole another post.
I guess what makes recruiting so hard is that it's basically sales.
But we're not selling cars or vacuums here...if it were only that easy.
We're "selling" an organization that's been around for over 237 years.
We're "selling" an organization that sends young men and women into harms way.
We're "selling" a lifestyle.
As you can imagine, it's a tough sell.
Not only do we have to be 'salesmen', but we also have to find quality individuals that meet the minimum requirements set forth by the Marine Corps.
I don't know if you knew this already, but out of 100 people, I would estimate that only 10 are completely qualified to join our elite ranks.
Especially when 50% of the young men and women we recruit are still in high school.
Not only do you have to "sell" the Marine Corps to a punk 17 year old (not ALL of them are punks), but you have to "sell" the idea to their mom and dad.
Seventeen year olds who want to be Marines don't need "selling".
Their minds are already set...especially in this age of "Call of Duty".
The hard sell is the parents.

I've been doing a lot of reminiscing lately about my time in the Corps, and out of all my experiences from deployments and training, my BEST memories come from recruiting duty.
I came up with some things that I have either heard on recruiting duty, or that I have said.
The stuff I've said and heard are unbelievable at times.

Here's 10 Things...
1. "I play a lot of COD (Call of Duty), so I'm pretty sure I'd be a badass Marine."
yes...I've had "kids" tell me this on MULTIPLE occasions. Do they not realize that you don't "regenerate" when you die in combat?!?!

2. "I don't want to finish high school, so I'm gonna drop out, get my GED, and become a Marine."
Sorry kid. This ain't Vietnam where the Corps is your "get out of jail" card. You actually need a traditional high school diploma or college credits from a legit college.

3. "I scored a 45 on the ASVAB, but I have a bachelor's degree. I want to become an Officer."
First off, you must have not learned anything in college because you scored lower than half my high school seniors. Second of all, don't sit there and think you're above me because you chose to go to college first, frat boy. While you were doing keg stands, I was in Iraq.

4. "I scored a 32 on the ASVAB (barely passing), so I want to be intelligence, and if you can't make me intelligence, I'm joining the Army."
What kind of fantasy world are you living in?! No branch is gonna "make you intelligence" with that score.

5. "Since I have a boot camp date now, I'm gonna go get a sweet Marine Corps tattoo."
Uh...no you may not!

6. "I pray to God that you get hit by a bus."
This was said to a recruiter by the mother of a young man wanting to join the Marines.

7. "Dude, you realize you've been in community college for FOUR years, right? You realize community college is a TWO year program..."
I've said this one too many times. Kids walk into the office looking for opportunities, then get scared of the thought of becoming a Marine. They then tell me that they're going to "finish school" first.
8. "I've never smoked weed in my life. Wait, you're gonna drug test me? Oh...ummm....I was at a party last night and my friends were all smoking weed, and I was breathing it in, so I MIGHT be positive."
First off, you can't test positive by being "hot boxed". Second, I swear these kids see the uniform and think we're the cops. 
9. "I know I'm 27 years old, but I need to ask my mom first if I can join."
Dude, you have bigger problems than deciding if the Marine Corps is the best option for you.   

10. "I know I can only do 3 pull ups, and I'm teetering on being overweight, but I want to be recon. If I can't have my recon contract, I'm going to the Navy to join the SEALS."
Thanks to Call of Duty, EVERYONE thinks they can be recon and/or special forces. Call of Duty is giving kids in America false hope....one video game at a time.


I'll probably write another post with some more of these "isms". 
They make me laugh, and I'm sure some of y'all who have been on recruiting or have husbands on recruiting can relate to this!

4 comments:

  1. My sister in law was a recruiter for the air force for years. She said it was the easiest gig in her life and the pay/perks were awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Recruiting is the only thing I don't want my husband to do in the Marine Corps. God bless the marriages that survive! And the Marines who do it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't wish it on my worst enemy!!!!!

      Delete
  3. This was funny!! It was very PG compared to the stories you could tell, I imagine. My husband and I talk about recruiting all the time. There are times we would go back in a heart beat. He was home a hell of a lot more than he is now :(

    ReplyDelete

I appreciate every, single comment! Thanks for the love!